Carrot Fantasy
by Will of the Fire
Summary: In which Sasuke couldn't stop playing with the stupid iPhone game. And it's all Naruto's fault. AU Rated for Hidan


_Carrot fantasy._

In which Sasuke couldn't stop playing with the stupid iPhone game. And it's all Naruto's fault. AU

x

"A missile here... And a zapper plane here... And a GODDAMNIT STOP! STOP! STOP! WHY ISN'T THE FREEZE WORKING _OH COME ON!_"

Chucking his iPhone down on the coffee table roughly the bright orange phone bounced off the table and "NOOO-"

Landed on the wooden floor with a loud thud, and skidded halfway across the room.

The man hastily picked up his phone and cradled it close, examining it for cracks after failing to catch it when it went flying off the table.

"Daddy's sorry, daddy didn't mean to throw you that hard, please don't crack please don't crack!"

Glad that the Jelly orange cover had protected his phone well and that it didn't crack like his previous phone, the blonde stroked his phone fondly before unlocking his phone and resumed his game.

"Alright. Let's roll! This time round I will beat the level! A fire shooter here..."

x

"Guys you gotta play this game with me man, it's addictive!"

"Yeah I saw Naruto whining about not being able to pass the extreme level on twitter the other day and tried playing as well and wow! It's super addictive, man! I couldn't stop!" Piped in Kiba as he flopped down on the couch next to Naruto, whipping out his own iPhone with one hand while he suck on the straw of his Starbucks coffee nosily, trying to get more whip cream.

"Look, I am stuck on the same level as Naruto, it's been two days of nonstop gaming but I still couldn't beat the damn level!"

"Surely it can't be that difficult!" Scoffed Ino before leaning over a dozing Shikamaru to grab Kiba's phone and trying the game.

"Holy-"

"No you gotta start from the start! Trying extreme the first time you play carrot fantasy is suicide, man!"

"The game just started and I died! How is that possible? How can a game that looks that cute be so difficult? Kiba! What do I press?"

"First you gotta look for a blank spot and put your weapons. For each level there will be only certain weapons available and in this case you only get the poison injection thing and the freeze." Instructed Kiba as Ino begin to position the weapons randomly.

"Nooo don't put the poison there! Put it there!" Yelled Naruto while he jabbed on the touchscreen, practically draping himself off Kiba's lap.

"Bugger off I can't see the screen! Wait! Why. Can't. I. Open. The. Damned. Weapons. Options?! The monster is eating my carrot!" Growled Ino while she tapped the touchscreen rapidly, her manicured nails threatening to scratch the screen's surface. At the same time Kiba roughly shoved Naruto off his lap, in which Naruto responded with a pout.

"The weapons option wouldn't open and the stupid red error sign keeps appearing and there is this annoying alarm going off _AND THE CARROT IS DYING!_"

"No Ino, you cannot put your weapon there, see the tree's in the way. You need to get rid of it first. Yeah put the poison beside it and shoot it. Sometimes when you get the obstacles out of the way you get the weapons that are hiding behind as well. Shoot that tree."

The tree disappeared and a fire shooter appeared.

"Upgrade it upgrade it!" Yelled Naruto beside Ino's ear and earned an elbow to the chest.

"Oof!"

"Ah GODDAMNIT! My carrot! This sucks!" Grumbled Ino as she tossed Kiba's iPhone back onto his lap.

"Lemme play lemme play!" Yelled Naruto excitedly, trying to grab the phone from Kiba.

"No go play on your own iPhone!"

"Race ya Kiba!" Exclaimed Naruto as Ino dug out her own purple bejeweled iPhone from the black hole she calls her purse. Flicking the rabbit's foot charm plug out of the way she tapped in her password and unlocked it, before quickly booting up the App Store.

"What's the game called again? I want to download it!" asked Ino loudly as Kiba and Naruto begin their race to beating each other's timing in the boss mode.

"Carrot Fantasy!" yelled Kiba distractedly as he jabbed away at his iPhone, mumbling under his breath about a certain mummified monster.

"Shikamaru, wake up! Help me with the strategizing!"

"…_Troublesome._"

x

"I found him! Sai just texted me that he _is_ at Starbucks!"

Uchiha Sasuke is annoyed. A certain blonde moron was supposed to meet him to move Sakura's belongings into the new apartment _two hours ago. _Not only was said blonde moron not picking up his phone, said moron is also probably slumped in a couch in the comfort of an air-conditioned coffee shop playing god knows what new game on his phone while Sasuke slaves away under the hot sun, moving all of Sakura's crap alone. Why does she have so much crap? All of his stuff all came in ONE box. She has at least _two-dozen boxes!_

"Why are we friends with him again?" Grumbled Sasuke as he set down the last box on the wooden floor, and collapsed face down on the couch.

"Let's go kill him later, when I am not as tired." Deadpanned Sakura as she lifts up Sasuke's legs to make space for herself and flopping down on the couch before setting them back on her lap. "Why do I have so much crap?"

"Agreed." Mumbled Sasuke, silently adding 'for both' in his head.

x

"Dobe."

No reply. Shikamaru briefly looked up before shaking his head and dozing off into Ino's neck again. Though he made sure that he is physically as far away from Naruto as possible. Kiba was yelling something about carrots.

"Dobe."

Still no reply. Ino looked like she is on the verge of slamming her bejeweled phone onto the ground, her fingers flying across the screen of her phone.

"Run dickless, run!" sang Sai in a singsong voice as he watch the scene behind the counter with a fake smile.

"NARUTO!" Yelled Sasuke as he swiped a napkin holder off the counter and chucked it at Naruto's head with all his might.

It bounced off Naruto's head with a loud "WHAT THE FUCK MAN SASUKE!" followed by Naruto throwing the napkin holder back at him. Without even flinching Sasuke caught the napkin holder and set it back on the table.

"Stop whining like a little girl you ass wipe, didn't you promised to help me with moving Sakura's belongings? But you didn't show!"

"Oh crap!" Exclaimed Naruto, horrified. He dropped his orange jelly phone on his lap in his state of panic and it bounced off his lap and skidded underneath the couch. "I was gaming and I was so close to beating the game so I set my phone to flight mode so the notification banners wouldn't distract me! I completely forgotten, I am so sorry! Look, let's go now!"

"Quick, quick! Sakura is going to skin you alive!" Cried Kiba as realisation set in and he gestured wildly, almost elbowing Ino in the face. "The fuck, Kiba!" Growled Ino as she slapped his shoulder in annoyance.

Naruto quickly took big gulps of his coffee before getting down on all fours to reach underneath the couch for his phone. Hastily he shoved his phone into his pack and dust himself off, practically shoving Sasuke towards the exit.

"Don't bother." Deadpanned Sasuke as Sakura came into sight with two Venti sized lattes. She handed Sasuke his coffee before flopping down on the couch next to Ino as Naruto gulped nervously.

"I am fucked, aren't I?"

"Uh-huh."

"Run… Dickless, run…" Sang Sai as he shuffled around behind the tiny counter merrily.

x

** deidara_KATSU:** I can't beat level 36 in carrot fantasy, yeah ):

** HIDAN9:** deidara_KATSU FUCKING CARROT FANTASY STUPID GAME I CAN'T BEAT THAT DAMN LEVEL TOO DAMMIT.

** mastersasori:** deidara_KATSU HIDAN9 n00bs

** HIDAN9:** FUCK YOU mastersasori

** deidara_KATSU:** mastersasori YEAH FUCK YOU, YEAH!

** swimkisameswim:** Can't wait for the underwater level! #ilovecarrotfantasy

** iceiceinobaby:** deidara_KATSU you're playing carrot fantasy as well?! I can't beat that level too ):

** deidara_KATSU:** swimkisameswim YOU COMPLETED THE GAME ALREADY?!

** deidara_KATSU:** iceiceinobaby yeah ):

** swimkisameswim:** deidara_KATSU yeah Itachi helped me with level 36!

** deidara_KATSU:** UchihaItachi PLEASE HELP ME WITH LEVEL 36 PLEASEEEEEE

** mastersasori:** deidara_KATSU n00b

** deidara_KATSU:** shut the fuck up yeah mastersasori

** UchihaItachi** : deidara_KATSU I accept payment in the form of cheque, cash, or 20 boxes of chocolate dango.

** mastersasori:** deidara_KATSU n00b n00b n00b

** deidara_KATSU:** UchihaItachi DEAL YEAH

x

"Can you believe it? _Can you believe it?! She gave me matching black eyes!_" Whined Naruto as he dabbed at his eyes gently with a boiled egg wrapped in a handkerchief.

"I can dobe, I was there." Replied Sasuke lazily as his eyes never once leave his law textbook. Highlighting the last statute of the chapter with a florescent shade of blue he blew lightly on the already drying ink and slammed the book shut. He refused to look at anything that concerns law for the next 42 hours.

"Just when I thought that she is all cool with me blowing off helping her with moving she calmly finishes her coffee and _gave me matching black eyes! _You would think that she wouldn't hit me in public like this!" Whine Naruto as he gestured animatedly, clearly upset. "How am I supposed to play Carrot Fantasy when I can barely see?"

Ah, so that's the problem. He should have known, Naruto usually stops whining hours ago. He must be really, really upset that he couldn't play the stupid game.

"Then don't play, stupid." He answered coolly as he kept his textbook, and took out his phone to text Sakura about the whining extraordinaire – also known as his best friend, to let her know how upset Naruto was so that she could come over to fix him so that he would shut the hell up.

"But I can't! I have to beat the stupid level! Ino already caught up with me despite starting so late since she had an unfair advantage since she got both Shikamaru _and _her cousin to help her with it. Did you know that Itachi helped her cousin to beat the game? Itachi! How the hell am I supposed to compete with that?!"

Well, that got his full attention.

"Itachi played Carrot Fantasy?" asked Sasuke with a slightly raise eyebrow, looking up from his texting.

"Yeah I saw it on twitter just now, Ino retweeted her cousin's victory dance video after Itachi help him with beating the game." grumbled Naruto as he dabbed on his swollen eyes gingerly.

"Itachi, my brother, Uchiha Itachi played Carrot Fantasy, and beat the game?" asked Sasuke again, now putting down his phone on his lap and giving Naruto his full attention.

"Yes! Why don't you believe me? Here, look at the damn tweet yourself."

** Iceiceinobaby:** RT deidara_KATSU FUCK YEAH BEAT CARROT FANTASY AT LAST THANKS UchihaItachi /3dsW2

In the video of the victory dance you can clearly see Itachi's amused expression in the background and hear the loud howling laughter of Kisame as he filmed Deidara dancing wildly with Hidan.

"Naruto, is… the game, challenging?" asked Sasuke calmly after awhile.

"The hardest!" yelled Naruto as he booted up the game on his phone and tossed it to Sasuke. "Try it!"

And thus the wheels for what would later be known as The Most Irritating Thing Naruto Has Ever Done got set in motion.

x

AN: Carrot Fantasy is a real iPhone app that can be downloaded in the app store that I had way too much fun with. I am really waiting for the underwater level which had been labelled "coming soon" for way too long lol. Please comment and subscribe! x


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